Bye Bye Brisbane.

Hello! FINALLY the next post has arrived! As promised; I come at you now with a blog of why my life has been so hectic. As usual I had hoped to post this earlier, but life got in the way again. Maybe one day I'll get the hang of this whole blogging thing; but until then I hope you guys will bare with me and respect that I am just as imperfect as you (if not more so). Therefore my blogs will most like continue to be consistently inconsistent, just like me!

I hope most of you will already know; since I told all the people I love in real life first; but this last month I said goodbye to Brisbane and I moved back to the Byron Shire area.
The move over state was been hectic; which is probably due to my anxiety being in a constant state of irrational fear. 

But we made the move and I couldn't be happier we did. This part of the world is pure magic, I missed it with all my soul. Now that I am back my mind already feels more quiet and at ease. My head is feeling lighter and my a little heart happier.

I will miss living in Brisbane so I thought that I would make this post a little homage to my time in Brisbane and accumulate some of my favourite photos in this post to say goodbye to this beautiful city being my home. Speaking of photos though before we begin I feel like I need a little photo disclaimer. The quality of these photos vary ALOT since I took some on my phone, stole some from my Instagram, took some from years ago etc etc. So they are pretty eclectic; all taken by yours truely!!! (except the ones of me)

Photo Credit: Nick Gray

Photo Credit: Nick Gray

So I just want to take a moment to say thank you Brisbane it has truely been great, who knows I might even come back one day. But most of all I am in awe of all the people who have been part of my 4 year journey; I have truely made some unforgettable friends and forged some unbreakable bonds. Even the people who I only met for a night or knew a week or some months, you all touched my heart. But I think the most of all my journey has been one of personal growth. I have become more of a bad-ass human than I ever thought possible, I have grown in ways and become someone I am much prouder of today.
This adventure has been one of my favourites of all my life and now I am getting ready for whatever the next one turns out to be.
But until then I am enjoying being back in the most beautiful part of the world and particularly the beach.

Photo Credit: D.Caddy

Thanks for reading I am forever grateful my readers are part of my journey as well.
I promise I will be back for good as soon as I can.

(1.01.2018) It Begins.

So lately life has been crazy (stay tuned for the next blog post to find out why). But long story short keeping up with my blogging daily has not been achievable with life being this busy; also the fact that I am rusty as anything as not helping. I thought diving back in to posting would be as smooth as jumping back in the water, but here I sit at 15 minuets to midnight (attempting to take advantage of my non-sleepiness). I feel like everything about this is challenging, taking good photos, editing and especially bringing it altogether in some cohesive way. How did I do this on the daily?! I am aware I am super far behind. However, I am still determined to catch up! So I will probably end up squishing some days together eventually.
I hope you get a nice little glimpse into my life as my year begins, hopefully it isn't too clunky and it's enjoyable to read. On the bright-side; it can only get better with practice.

1.02.2017

               


My New Year's Morning

technically began the few seconds after midnight where I lay in my bed and succumbed to tiredness, however, I didn't happen to get a photo of that. I honeslty don't even know why I bother staying awake till midnight, when i's just to struggle and then pass out. So for the sake of the blog, let's just say it began here. In the sunlit warmth of my bed, at some foggy time (most likely in the PM). This morning like most of my favourites, began with cuddles; magical cat filled cuddles and a breakfast that probably consisted of baked beans on toast; which if I am being honest is a personal favourite.

So to kick off one of my New Years resolutions right; I decided to head to the grocery store and attempt a "zero waste" shop. Now I have to admit I learned a lot from this task. But I also think I did pretty well and our waste this week will be a lot less than usual.












The rest of my day was spent very leisurely; as one's day off should. I read some of this spectacular book (which I have now finished). It was gifted to me by Nick, because I loved her first one so much. In fact both these books resonated so closely with me that I feel as if I should do a blog post on them.

  Later in the afternoon we payed a visit to some beautiful friends of ours, who have moved into a wonderful new house (with air-con). So they kindly let us take refuge there and escape the scorching Brisbane summer days; and as a bonus play Shadespire. Or like I did on this occasion have a nap then play; because staying up till midnight took it out of you.




Thanks for reading, I enjoyed looking back on this day (since it is a little late). I think this whole daily blogging thing will be just as therapeutic as last time once I get the hang of it. I also really hope that you enjoy reading, even if my life isn't super groundbreaking. I highly recommend looking back and paying some extra attention to the gifts in your day! Well it's surely past midnight now I have finally finished writing. Thanks again for stopping by and being a little part of my crazy life.

Reset.

Hello my lovelies,
I can't say how happy I am to be writing this for you; because it's been so long. I've been away with myself, for some quite time. I have needed this break and some space to think. I enjoyed ignoring my phone, hadn't touched my laptop in months. I think everyone needs a little break from being part of everyone else's reality and needs a chance to reconnect with their own.

Honestly I love social media, I love connecting with people and hearing other people stories, being uplifted and inspired as I watch them grow; but like many other creators I find myself in the trap of comparing my work too much to others, judging my journey as less interesting, or less valid although I know we are all on different paths.
I find myself often falling into a void, where I feel like I can't create anything; I won't force myself too either, because I want to share with you only the most genuine and truthful aspects of my journey and not just create for the sake of consistency or obligation. I owe more than a half-hearted attempt to both you and myself, so with that in mind....

Here is to 2018! The year where I will continue to become more unforgivingly Yasmine. So in the spirit of the New Year, I think it will only be fitting to talk about some of the things I plan to do to help me achieve that goal:

1. Blog "Daily" 
If you have been following me for AGES (since before I rebranded and my blog was

still called Yasminesbeautylife) I used to blog my daily life, in fact that is how it all started; I wanted to reflect on my days and show gratitude for the good things that happened and celebrate the little successes that I often found myself overlooking. I found it really helped to inspire me to see beautiful things in the mediocre everyday (as well as forcing me to leave the house so I have something to write about).

I feel like I have been overlooking some of the magic that I see everyday so I wanted to use a fresh new year to start documenting again. Now by "daily" blogs I mean most days, not everyday, not just weekdays, just whenever....no half-hearted, obligatory posts; only ones that I feel are a true representation of me and pour naturally from my heart onto the page. Some days may even be all images, it is what it is.

2. Weight Lifting/ Generally working out more. 
Since my break from blogging I have found a new passion for exercise, but in particular weight lifting. Obviously many people have shared their opinions on my decision to start lifting, some are excited, others are worried I will get "too buff" but it all comes down to the way I feel, it makes me feel empowered, stronger, more energetic and I also like the way my body is changing and looking more muscular, so that's really all that matters, not wether someone finds me attractive. Society; stop being freaked out by strong women please and thank you, there is no right way to be a women all women are real women regardless of their body type.

3. Reduce my Waste. 

This is something I have been trying to do for some time. But I have made this resolution with my beautiful friend Adena; a stunning women, who means a lot to me. Doing this with her will definitely add an extra helping heart who cares for the planet and also push me to be better! She hasn't failed me yet, though I am not sure she can say the same about me...... But thats besides the point. To make a long story short reducing your waste (mostly plastic) will save the planet and more importantly the turtles.

So there are my resolutions for 2018. I hope this year is filled with just as much change and growth as 2017 was; that is my main goal. Living my life is more important than any of these resolutions, so to all the other people making (or not making them). No pressure, you will get there in time. We shouldn't expect perfection. In fact this post was supposed to be up on the 1st, five days later I got there and I am not fussed, I will catch up.
So over all love yourselves, enjoy your year. I hope you grow

Hello Strangers...

Hello Strangers,

Long time no talk. It is safe to say that I have been neglecting this space lately because sometimes I just need time. Then days, turn to weeks and weeks turn to months and I still haven't posted. It's not like I don't think about it all the time, in fact I have a bunch of drafts in my PostBox I'll never finish that I deemed unworthy of being read. 

But the longer I am gone from this outlet and the longer I go without hearing encouraging words from you people, the more I realise, I miss so much about this platform. Writing and creating has always apart of who I am and I often feel misplaced when I am not honouring that part of myself. 

So it is safe to say that I have been lost, under the piles and piles of school work, my part time job and a constant nagging in my mind that everything I am and everything I am doing isn't enough. 

I have been doing some serious thinking about this topic of "enough-ness" and I realised the more I tried to decipher why I wasn't enough, or what it was that I didn't have enough of; well I drew blank. So long story, very, very short I decided to stop beating myself up about just being me. 

There is nothing wrong with being messy, I like messy. There is nothing wrong with my emotions (any of them), or having so many of them. 

So I could go on and on, but I am just here to say Hi, I missed you and I will be bringing this space back to life. I am, as always going to be raw, messy and just dis-jointedly share with you this imperfect life that I am creating. 

So I hope you guys will stick around for the crazy, messy, ride.

If you are still here, loving me after all my fuffing about I love you more, thanks for everything. 

Oh and one more thing.... I chopped my hair off and I got bangs! 

See ya'll soon! 

My Beautiful Battle (Entry 3) A Long Awaited Update, Therapy & Self Growth

Disclaimer: This is just my personal experience and I am not an expert. Mental illness is a very sensitive topic, if any of you feel like you may be triggered or negatively impacted by talk about this topic, please don't read this post. It is also a very personal topic and it manifests differently in every individual. So if commenting please remember, 

only kindness. 

Hey strangers,

It's been a minute. I've been meaning to come back here and update you guys for a while now, but I have been busy attending to some other things. Instagram (@becomingyasmine) is the best place to get in touch if I am ever MIA over here on my blog, though I promise I will try. I have so many ideas, so many drafts but so many more self doubts; which I am working on.

So that just about brings me to this post. I have erased this post numerous times because I honestly don't even know why I am writing. Mostly because I feel so out of touch with blogging right now that I just want to word vomit. But I will try to keep it interesting and as much to the point as I can.

This is basically an update on how I have been away, and what I have been doing.
I have been attending to my feelings (which sounds silly to say) but to be honest I feel a lot;

especially since starting my therapy and trying to get myself back into school. After 22 years of life I am still learning how to deal with all the negative thoughts and emotions that arise as a result of having a mental illness. Which is okay, good even. I hope I continue to learn for the rest of my life, it has really been great in helping me to (semi) function when things get difficult. Even if it is mostly trial and error, when I find something that helps me cope or makes my life easier I cling to it for dear life!

Most of my energy has been spent trying to leave the house, take back my life and let myself grow. I
have been in my comfort zone trying to avoid doing things for fear of having a panic attack or feeling terrible for far too long. So I am working on myself. A LOT.
Which I do plan to share with you, in fact I think I will have much more to share now that I am feeling less afraid of living.
Thank you for letting me grow, thank you for giving me time, you guys are amazing.
Back soon,

My Beautiful Battle (Entry 2) It's Okay Not to Be Okay. My Journey - Asking For Help 🙋

Disclaimer: This is just my personal experience and I am not an expert. Mental illness is a very sensitive topic, if any of you feel like you may be triggered or negatively impacted by talk about this topic, please don't read this post. It is also a very personal topic and it manifests differently in every individual. So if commenting please remember, 

only kindness. 

It's okay not to be okay.
It really is.
I'm sure many of you have heard this saying it's okay not to be okay. Maybe you have heard it a million times like me, or at least if you are mentally ill I am sure you have heard "It's okay" or "it will be okay" more times than you can bare to hear. But I'm here to tell you that it really is okay.

I'm as much here to tell you as I am writing this to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with having a mental illness. There should be no shame, why be ashamed? Are you ashamed of how brave you are? Fighting this disease everyday. To get out of bed, to feed yourself, to leave the house. It's all just a little bit harder, sometimes a lot harder, some days impossible. You should be proud of yourself because everyday you survive it, is another battle won. Every time you show up to work or to school, you had to fight that little bit harder to get there. So don't be ashamed, be proud. You're a bad ass warrior.

"You wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you so tired the night before; and that, my love is bravery" - unknown.

When is it not okay?

Somedays it's fine if all you do is lie in bed and snuggle.

 Before I go any further. I'd like to clarify; Being mentally ill is 100% okay, having bad days is (sucky but) okay, having to overcome more obstacles to reach your dreams because you have an illness is okay.

But I think it's also important to acknowledge when it isn't okay. Everyone will have a different idea of when this is, how much stress they can handle and how badly they are affected. 

So for me, I'm really bad at knowing when I need help. Let alone asking for it. But I got to a place where I started having LOTS of bad days.
I stopped doing things that I love and couldn't work towards my dreams cause I was too sad and stressed. Then Finally; I was so overwhelmed by being unstable all the time I really didn't know how to get better. So it began obvious, I wasn't going to make it on my own. At least not to where I want to go in life, so I went to the doctor. 

It ended up  taking me a few of months to get the process underway. I procrastinated, cancelled doctors appointments, avoided phone calls and worked myself up into a panic over one silly appointment. But now I can finally (proudly) say. I asked for help. I am on the way to making my life and brain a better place to live. My doctor recommend me to see a psychologist. I honestly haven't had much luck in the past with other people I have seen. But I am going in open minded and hopefully get some ways to cope with life and all of it's challenges. Because as I'm sure all of you know, mentally ill or not, that shit is hard. 

So yeah, that's where I am at right now. I want to share with you all my experience with this, if I am feeling better, if I think it's helping etc. I want to be able to talk about mental health with openness and honesty so that it's more transparent. As an illness that is all inside my head, it's gets pretty dark. So hopefully this series will bring it to light. To help fight the stigmas, to inspire other survivors and document my journey, so one day I can look back and see how far I have come.  

So thank you to all you amazing people for joining me for another post in this series. I hope that by sharing my experiences with mental health I can spread awareness and help some people to get out of the darkness that we all feel. Hopefully this will inspire you to ask for help when you need it and accept it graciously like I am trying. 

I hope you enjoyed reading!
See all you beautiful souls next time!