Hello everybody,
"What was it like to lose him? - Like hearing every goodbye said to me all at once"
So as far as my journey goes I have been a little thrown in the deep end by my recent separation with Nicholas. This has been without a doubt the hardest yet rewarding journeys, full of self-exploration. I have ever been on. It's weird to think of a breakup as rewarding but as I have been completely thrown out of my comfort zone so naturally I have been learning a lot really quickly. Learning how to be on my own, enjoy my own company, be strong by myself and how to be less afraid of life in general. I would like to stress to everyone reading this that Nicholas has been the strongest person in my life for me through all of my mental illness for a very long time. He has helped me to grow into this person that I am proud of. The last step of this journey to becoming who I am, was to step out on my own. He just helped me with that in a very brave way, by stepping out on his own as well. I still care for him and hope that he finds happiness.
Currently in my life there are so many changes. I am still studying my nursing course and I have just gone back to work, which has been a better experience than I had thought it would be. I also stopped all my medication which has worked out well for me. That's a blog post for another time though. I also moved rooms which was fun. I think that this room is a more accurate representation of me. Since there are a lot of things all squished into a small space. I also cut myself a fringe (as you may be able to tell from the photos) which I kinda love.
I have been doing lots of art too. Mostly painting and poetry which is a nice way to relax. Perhaps I will share one of my poems on this blog at some point. But this is a photo of a painting of a hummingbird that I painted recently. I'm still not sure if it is done yet. I think I might pick it up again in a few days and see if I want to add anymore.
Painting normally ends messily. Sorry to the walls and the floor in my house. Not to mention me in general. I bought my first pair of overalls the other day to help counter the mess that is painting. I love them heaps and I have been wearing them all the time. It has been keeping my clothes cleaner, but they don't do much for the rest of me. I pretty much live in a permanent state of having paint all over my legs. This I am okay with. It's just how you can tell that some real art is happening.
"she never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; It was supposed to make you feel something"
I have also got a couple new piercings my favorite being my septum. I know it's not to everyone's taste, but I really like it. I also got a couple of surface piercings and finally got around to putting back in all of the piercings in my ears. So all in all I think I have had quite a few changes to my appearance
So I think the most important thing I have gained in my recent journey is some super awesome friends. As well as all the other friends I already had which I hope to see more and to stay in contact with. I feel like I have a family away from home now. Which was something I only felt with Nicholas before. But now I have many people I feel I can turn to when the times get tough. Which is an amazing feeling. I always have an escape now if I need one. Which sometimes I really do. I have been spending countless nights at some friends house and one of them (Nick) even introduced me to a beer I like, which I thought would never happen. He doesn't like photos so if you are not lucky enough to know him in real life then that's a shame for you.
I also made a couple friends at school one of them being Abby she has helped me incredibly and she helps make school bearable on those days when it's just not going so well. It's proof that she is going to be an amazing nurse. If you stick around hopefully she will be featured on my blog some more.
For someone who doesn't like photos Dominic who has been a really good sport and let me take some photos of him. Although he doesn't stand still. So it proves to be slightly difficult. Here is a photo of him hiding from the camera. For someone who says he doesn't like photos I think he photographs pretty well. 
Also if you remember Yukie from some of my other posts she Is living with us now. Which is super exciting. She gave me this super cute painting that she made and I love it. I feel like it deserves a definite mention in this blog.
So I think that basically sums it up. Now I did mention that I have some goals to share and that is goals for my blog. I hope to start posting daily blogs again. Because I feel like I am back up for it and I would really like to continue documenting my extraordinary, ordinary life. I may not post every single day because some of my days will be extremely uneventful. But hopefully a few times a week at least. It's not so much that I think my life is interesting to anyone in particular. But I just love the positive outlook that I seem to get looking back on a day and writing about it. It also encourages me to do more things which can sometimes be difficult when you are feeling a little mopey. But all in all it's fun and an awesome experience for me. So why not.
Thanks for reading I'll be back again soon! I wish you all every happiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment